So, I thought I would share a bit about my family. This happened almost 6 years ago exactly. Here is my story...
6 years ago I broke up with my boyfriend and asked my parents if I could move back home temporarily (I was 22, out of university for 1 year and working full-time). They were ecstatic. They never liked my boyfriend and were thrilled to have me come home. In fact, they offered to come help me move right then and there. lol They were also hoping I would be a positive influence on my little sister Wendy as she was a little out of control in those days (she was a teenager in high school).
Not only was my younger sister Wendy there but my older brother James (he would have been 24 at the time). My brother James was/is a bit of a drifter. He didn't/doesn't work very often and when he does it's for short spurts until he gets laid off and then goes on employment insurance for a while before beginning the cycle again. Ultimately, he's a bit lazy and unmotivated in life. So, he was still at home.
Anyways, I move back home and things are good. After a few weeks my mom comes over to me and says, "it's fine for you not to pay rent yet but in a little while when you are back on your feet we'll have to talk about it again.". ok, no problem right? Except that my older brother had never moved out, never gone to school, never got a real job, never helped out, never did anything....never even paid rent! So, I told my mom, "no problem. That it completely fair. However, I will only pay rent if James pays rent and I'll pay the exact same amount he does". Fair is fair right?
Their response? Instead of making us both pay (which would have been the right thing to do) they didn't make either of us pay. And you know what...James is now 30 (almost 31) and still lives at home. He did end up going to school for 8 months but that's about it. Same cycle, same story, no responsibilities. Me, I moved out within 6 months. Not because I didn't like it there. It was awesome! No rent, no bills, I had lunch made for me, etc. Instead, I was terrified I would become apathetic as well!
Makes me insane! Don't my parents realize that they aren't helping him?
Do you have a similar story?
That's pathetic that he doesn't even want to try and be financially responsible.
ReplyDeleteMy parents made me pay, and made my siblings pay, which we did, plus paying for our own food as well.
that's how I think it should be (unless you are in school of course). I just wish that he would live a productive life and be happy. I don't think he is happy.
ReplyDeleteI don't think he is happy either but you've said before, it's his choice. We can't all be on the same life timeline. Remember when he told you, "Mom and dad already think I'm a fuck up." He probably took all that hurt he was holding inside and now he thinks he can't do anything. As adults we are supposed to be able to rise above that crap, but it never really goes away.
ReplyDeleteYou make this whole post sound like you were perfect and him and I are disasters.
-Wendy
That's really not the intent of this post. I was trying to explain how our parents have not helped him. It really wasn't about you at all. Yes, I mentioned you were an unruly teenager but...weren't we all? I know I was.
ReplyDeleteNatasha